12 18 fashion game girl

PC Mailbag Phantom, murdering a man, customer support, and still more...

Nice Try, Casper hi i am a beta tester for the phantom and infinum labs i was wondering if we can geta arcticle on this b/c we would love to have you guys do a article and you can get some interviwes with the staff please get back to me

i would love to have you guys do this for us

thank u

-- Michael

Funny, I'd love for you not to do this for us. I've met with Infinium bigwigs back at E3 and after two hours of expecting them to sell me a barely functional Chevy Nova, I came away knowing everything I needed to about their little Phantom console: 1) Phantom is expensive. 2) Phantom sucks. 3) I kind of already own a Phantom, only other people like to call it a PC and I don't need to actually pay a monthly fee to use it.

Enough talk. You want Phantom coverage? Send me a damn unit. If not, don't expect an ounce of kindness or optimism. Proof is all about pudding and Infinium hasn't fed me one real spoonful yet.

-- Ivan "Deez Nuts" Sulic

Customer Service Quota Filled To Whome it may concern; I bought your magazine the 2004 #234 and the disk wont work. I have decided to email you because this is not the first time this has happened. I enjoy the magazine but i would like to know if you check the disks before they go out. You can email me.

-- Brian

It's a DVD, which is why it says "DVD" twice in enormous white letters on the sleeve. Go figure. Anyway, you try not jamming it in a 3.5" floppy slot yet, sweetie?

Yes Brian, we do check them. Below our San Francisco offices there actually exists a vast factory. It's there that Ryan Scott sits, single-handedly ensuring every DVD produced is absolute perfection. With magnifying glass in hand, he checks each encoded bit on every disc, counting them one at a time. If one is out of place or missing, he'll manually burn it in with a laser pen... Of course we don't check the discs, man! What do you think we are, professional? Last week I saw Sam standing on two large chickens using homemade reins to maniacally ride them around the office so that he would be, in his own words, "Mightier than Spartacus!"

Check the DVDs...holy goodness. Who are you kidding? You're lucky our website doesn't cause your computer to actually burst into real flames.

-- Ivan

James is Angry MY NAME IS JAMES BRADLEY, YOU HAVE SENT ME AN INVOICE NOTIFING ME TO MAIL YOU $ 19.97 FOR SOMETHING I HAVE NOT ORDERED.EMAIL ME ABOUT THIS MATTER THANK YOU.

-- James

You got it James! I'll get right on emailing you the fee for having to email you as soon as I finish preparing your second invoice.

-- Ivan

Just Helping People Good evening, What steps would I take to submit an article for possible publication in PC Gamer? Thank you very much for your time,

-- David

Your first step is to immediately stop spraying keyboard cleaner directly into your mouth and eyes. That tingling sensation you feel is actually not healthy. In fact, it's the sound of hundreds of thousands of your brain cells perishing in horrific agony with the passing of every second. By the looks of things, I would suspect you may even have keyboard cleaner pumping directly into your home's ventilation system. I highly recommend you use the few remaining breaths and active neurons you have to call a professional and have him look at that.

Assuming you're still conscious and my words are not lost on you, might I recommend you next address your freelance consideration proposal to the right company? That would really help your chances of not being horribly ridiculed by someone like me who happens to not work for Future Media, which happens to coincidentally publish PC Gamer.

-- Ivan

The Worst Kind To add to the 2003 video game awards, this type of post is common on the official Star Wars Galaxies forums and can be seen here.

First off let me start by saying Ratchi Toro is maybe the worst person i've ever come across. This person followed me around, killed everything i was attempting to kill. Laughed at me cause i didnt have the skills to kill faster than him. I tried to /report him 20 times over the 2 hours this went on, took several screen shots and let him know i was gonna post if his harrasment didnt stop, response: "Like i give a ^&$#, im from the SS server and no ones gonna do #%^@ about it anyway." What am i expecting to be done? Nothing. Do I expect to get flamed for complaining "YES". My time is just as valueable to me as anyone elses, i dont need to spend it fighting with someone that comes out of no where and insists on KS'n me for no reason then keeping it up for 2 hours after i ask him to PLZ leave me alone. What good is customer service if there is none? i'm sure this will get either deleted or locked, but who cares at this point?

So to make a short story long....... i'll be deleting my 4 accts (2 are my nephews that i'm paying for), i'd like to donate everything i have to some function that has been put on by ppl that have had the most impact. I know davinci doesnt play much anymore from what i've read, but ppl like him that out of there own pockets put on events for other players. Plz post why u think i should donate everything to your cause/charity/event? I dont have alot btw, prob about 500k resources, a few twin force crystal things of a few colors, about 25 disks from acts 1 & 2 that im sure ppl can turn in for faction points, about 35 locked containers (looted myself-and untouched), a few heavy harvesters, a few houses, lots of arch type stuff. TONS of GOOD power-ups. I cant really think right now.....also over 1 million in credits. So post away, EVERYTHING will be going tonight around 6 p.m. PST so theres not much time. I've given a few things away already to some friends, so all the comp armor and guns are gone. Also a few pets. some good but nothing great.

-- Curtis

I'm very confused, Curtis. Your submission makes little sense to me. For one, I don't speak MMO Troll. But more than that, at one point you say something I simply cannot comprehend: "My time is just as valueable to me as anyone elses, i dont need to spend it fighting with someone that comes out of nowhere..."

If your time is really as valuable as you say, why are you playing Galaxies to begin with? Didn't think about that, did you, Curtis?

If I may offer some advice, my ultimate solution to coping with Internet denizens of the sort is to never, ever deal with them under any circumstances, ever. To that end, I play no MMOs, read no bulletin boards, participate in no IRC chats, and absolutely refuse to partake in real-time two-way conversations with anyone online in any capacity. You know what? I'm much better off because of my hard-line stance, too.

To make up for this ridiculously skewed type of modern-day antisocial behavior, I frequently respond to letters like your own in a very abrupt, even offensive manner. This makes me feel great! Not only am I contributing to the Internet in a more meaningful way than anyone else out there is (imagine the UC Berkeley Blog writer who needs a swift asteroid impact to the chest), I'm also making myself feel better by making you feel worse. It's almost as good as standing in front of a street-side Yoga studio with a bottle of Makers Mark in hand, a lit cigarette in mouth, and a gorgeous girl under arm.

-- Ivan

Till Next Time Well folks... I am going to kill a man tomorrow. Wouldn't you? If someone you knew pursued a relationship with a very close friend's ex-significant other without first asking his permission in honorable Klingon fashion, wouldn't you feel obligated to move past all the hypocritically civilized talking and get down with the pure, primal murdering? I totally feel effing obligated and I can't wait for it. Make no mistake, it's nothing personal. Not counting the fact that I've always hated this belligerent jerk for a number of different reasons, I honestly have no problem with the guy.

How to do it and feel satisfied is the real question. I'm thinking I casually say hello and then repeatedly compress his head between a car and its driver side door. After that I'll slink down till my bottom hits street, breathe a sigh of relief, and begin crazily whispering the lyrics of "Pure" to the tune of Lighting Seeds' remix while smiling as if high. Night time slows, raindrops splash rainbows. Perhaps someone you know, could sparkle and shine? As day-dreams slide, to color from shadow, picture the moonglow that dazzles my eyes. And I...love you.

Just lying smiling in the dark, shooting stars around your heart. Dreams come bouncing in your head, pure and simple every time. Now you're crying in your sleep. I wish you never learned to weep. Don't sell the dreams you should be keeping. Pure and simple every time.